Like Will To Like Or Opposites Attract?
by iDisco
Summary: Red and Liz are on the run. Red struggles with his failure. Post Season 2! !Lizzington! (ON HIATUS)
1. Chapter 1

**This is my first try on Fanfiction and I would like to finally test the waters. It is about Red and Liz on the run and it will include Angst, Romance and Hurt &Comfort. I try to update as often as possible if you want me to continue.  
Unfortunately I don't have a beta so if anyone is interested in that please leave a message.  
Rating is T for now but it will change to M. **

**If Lizzington is not your cup of tea, don't read it!**

* * *

Raymond Reddington is viewed as a notorious criminal by the US government and they are certainly right about that but he protects those who he holds most dear. He had lost his wife and his daughter and it hurt him every single day. He went on the run on christmas 1990, had to look over his shoulder for 20 years and he could say that he is used to that by now but a life as a fugitive is new for Elizabeth Keen.

It is new for him, too.

Most of the time he was alone.

Of course he has Dembe with him but he pays him even though he knows his friend would stay nonetheless.

He couldn't pay Elizabeth Keen. All he could do was protect her from the common enemy. Those who would dare to get close to her are as good as dead. There is no problem in protecting her. The problem is that he has to live with her, or that she has to live with him from now on. This wasn't something he is used to. He feels okay around random women, who he has encounters with, in his hotel room but _his_ Lizzie isn't a random woman.

She is his everything.

The moment she walked down the stairs at the Post Office was one he would never forget. She was the light that made it into the cave, the light he desperately wanted to catch. It doesn't matter what the media or his associates might think about him but he wanted to be seen as a human being by Liz. For this to happen she had to get to know him and that was something he could not let happen.

" _Wow, you're so damaged."_

Yes, he absolutely is damaged and in despair. Every now and then the desire to ask her to dine with him or just talk with him about everything and nothing becomes too much to bare. He wonders what her favorite books are, when she had her first boyfriend, if her first heartbreak hurt as much as his. Would they have something in common beside being fugitives, or are they like North – and South Pole?

 _Like will to like, or opposites attract?_

Since she had found out about a part of her past and what he did for her, her behavior towards him changed. Gone was the person who shouted at him and used him as her personal punching bag, and now there was a woman who would brew him his favorite tea in the morning after she had smiled at his drowsy attitude in a way that made him wish he would burn his tongue on his tea.

Because he, of all persons, doesn't deserve a smile like that.

He tries to ignore her gratitude but she made it anything but easy for him as the months pass by.

–

Bali was a wonderful change. Not only because he loved the view from his bedroom, but he wasn't alone with Liz anymore for 24h.

He had missed Putu and her skills. He had pulled the housekeeper into a tight hug the first day and earned a distasteful look from Lizzie. Maybe, he shouldn't have kissed her so deeply but at this moment he wanted her to be angry at him.

He definitely succeeded but it didn't make him feel better, because she didn't look angry.

She looked hurt and he didn't want that.

–

It is a sunny afternoon and if he had to watch Lizzie, who is running around in her black bikini, for a minute longer he would go mad.

She had stopped to make him tea in the morning and her smile vanished from her face since they arrived in Bali.

He calls it a win but now she tries to get his attention by putting on tight fitting summer dresses, or wearing her bikini when she'd go for a swim in his pool. The dark fabric was a complete contrast to her light skin and it makes her look even more beautiful if possible.

It is plain torture.

He picks up his straw hat and fishing pole. There is something about fishing he had always enjoyed. It is a rare moment of peacefulness in his life where he has the opportunity to relax. If he would catch a fish, it would make him happy and if not, he would still be happy. He only wants a moment alone.

As the hours passed by and the sun is about to disappear beyond the Indian Ocean he feels her presence behind him. The warm summer breeze filled with her scent betrayed her. She sits down on the landing stage next to him and eyes him cautiously. She wears a white summer dress, no shoes but her toes are painted red.

Of course it has to be red.

The pole is placed in the middle between two wooden beams, his hands laced together in his lap while he watches the sunset. If their situation was not so messed up this could easily be one of his favorite romantic moments.

How badly he wants to watch a sunset with Lizzie in his arms.

"I didn't know you like fishing?"

"I enjoy the silence while I pretend to fish." He sounds cold and he can't even look at her. Every time he does so reminds him of his failure.

"Why are you doing this?" And she sounds so heartbroken.

"I don't know what you're talking about.", he says and pulls the pole out of the water. The bait-fish is still attached to the hook. He doesn't mind at all.

"You ignore me and I try to figure out why."

"If I had ignored you, I wouldn't talk to you now.", he counters and puts his pole back in place.

"Look. If you don't want me here, I can leave. I'm not willing to be a burden for you." _His burden?_

"Where would you go? To your ex husband? He can't protect you."

"But unlike you he doesn't treat me as if I'm not there." Now she is angry. It feels so much better when she is angry with him. He deserves it.

"Yes, he only fooled you, hit you and almost got you killed. What a good man he is." He slowly stands up and winced as his knee cracks while doing so.

"You came into my life and wanted me to trust you and I never did until I've found out what you did for me in the past. Now that I do you behave like you don't care. I fail to understand you." She looks up to him now. Literally and figuratively. It has always been the other way around. He looks up to her. She is _his_ ray of light. He shouldn't be hers.

"So do I.", he nods and throws the pole back to the water and adjusted his hat.

The expression on her face almost rips his heart out. He has hurt her. Again! His eyes are fixed on the water that beautifully mirrors the orange colored sky and not on the woman who leaves him alone.

Only small waves can be seen where the hook dove into the water. There is nothing in sight before him. The sun is halfway swallowed by the ocean when he turns around, but she is already gone.

That is what he wanted but does it have to hurt so much?

 **TBC...**

 **Thoughts? Crappy? Meh? Okay? Or Yay, please more?**  
 **Please let me know what you think! :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for your reviews, faves and follows. I just finished the second chapter and I hope you like it. I honestly have no idea if it is in character or not. Red is complex but I think this is what he would do.**

 **I don't own the blacklist or the characters. Sadly**

* * *

Dembe calls him late that night and scolds him for being a selfish bastard. He doesn't know whether Putu has informed Dembe, or Lizzie. Surely Putu. Even she has told him to talk to her. He lays on his back and pulls the thin blanket up to his bare chest. There are still so many secrets between them that makes it impossible for him to have her in the way he wants. The more time he spends with her the more fantasies about her enter his mind, and the more fantasies he has the more he feels the urge to distance himself from her.

How much he misses Dembe in those times. His friend is his conscience and so much smarter than he is. He is probably the only person who dares to call him a selfish bastard. Lizzie would absolutely do so as well but she hasn't insulted him, yet. Has she ever insulted him?

She called him a monster several times but that wasn't an insult, it was the ugly truth.

She indirectly called him selfish. To outsiders this is the truth, too.

You can't judge a book by its cover.

His cover is dusty, old, ripped and debauched. No one would freely choose a book to read which looks like that. He doesn't understand why Lizzie would want that.

He knows why he acts around her like a prick. It is the fact that he failed not only her but Sam as well. He had promised his friend to take care of his daughter and to love and protect her like he did. Now she was next to him on the FBI Most Wanted List. He doesn't love her like Sam either. If only he would love her like a father his daughter. Would it make things easier though? Would it be easier when he doesn't feel the need to kiss her, embrace her, sleep next to her, or would it make him more protective when his feelings were strictly paternal?

But he also knows where she had spent the night before they had to leave the country. He could smell it when she rested her head on his shoulder, he could see it when she revealed her clothing under her jacket. Men's clothing. Tom's sweater in this case.

The images in his head don't want to disappear and jealousy clouded his mind whenever he imagines Tom and Lizzie on this ridiculous boat. At times like these he would replace those thoughts with images of him and Lizzie having dinner at L'Ambroisie, at the Place des Vosges in Paris.

Much better, although he would never go on a date with her but sometimes his deepest wishes keep him alive. Moreover it makes him fall asleep easier when Tom Keen isn't the last thing he sees before his eyes.

* * *

They left Bali 3 weeks ago to meet with an associate of him in South Africa. The Cabal is busy finding all journalists who published an article about their shadow organization. One positive side effect is that Lizzie and him are currently not at the top of their hit list.

Both barely talk anymore except when it is about business, and while this is, in his opinion, the best for her, it slowly sucks all remaining life out of his body.

On the other hand she walks around like a soulless being as well. They are hurting and he is the one to blame. He must find a way to have a healthier relationship with her.

* * *

Their next destination is in Uzbekistan. It is secure enough to stay for a while. Ruslan provided a safe house for them and Dembe would finally join them tomorrow. He considers this a lucky day.

Dembe informed him that Ressler is still hunting their shadows. Well, once a cop, always a cop.

He convinced Lizzie to join him for dinner in this nice little hole in the wall but just because he told her that they had to discuss business.

They talk about Dembes return and that Donald still failed to find them. However, he doesn't tell her that Samar keeps getting false information to Ressler. There will be time for that later.

The evening goes by smoothly until they fall into an uncomfortable kind of silence. Lizzie unenthusiastically pokes into her Baklava and parts her lips before she delicately devours her dessert. And he could watch her eating Baklava forever.

"Thank you for the dinner, Red." This is the first time she talks to him because she wants to and not because she has to.

"You're very welcome.", he replies and manages a small smile but all this feels so awkward. He finishes his Cognac and pulls on his gray scarf.

"Actually I have to thank you for so many things but I don't know how. God knows what else you've done in the past to protect me. Without you I probably wouldn't have been in the FBI, and now you buy me dinner and keep me safe but you doesn't want me near you..." She stares at him with an intensity that makes him sit down again.

His eye must flinch uncontrollably by now, he can feel that. So this is how she sees him and while this isn't wrong at all, doesn't she see why he doesn't want her near him?

"Lizzie I -", he pauses and shakes his head as if to arrange his thoughts, "you don't have to thank me for a single thing I do for you." _I'd do anything for you_ he added in his mind.

"Would you do something for me?"

He nods, swallows the lump in his throat and his sweaty palms are balled into fists on the small table before him.

"I want the old Red back. You don't have to sit by me 24/7 but it can't go on like this. I have lost everything and I can't handle to lose you, too. Please." It was impossible to resist those eyes, especially when the tears are so visible. He hates to see her cry.

He doesn't answer for a long time.

"I cannot promise you that you'll get 'the old Red' back but I will try to treat you better than I have in the past few weeks. It was rude and I'm deeply sorry for hurting you. What I can promise you though is, that you won't ever lose me." The smile he receives in return was worth every word coming from his mouth. He'd try to make it up to her, even if the flame that was Lizzie would burn him someday.

He pays the bill and leaves a generous tip before they walk back to their current home. He tells her a story about the last time he went sailing and offered to join him the next time.

She accepts in an instant and he could swear a bunch of butterflies just settled down in his tummy. Her face lit up when he asked her and so did his when she agreed. It was necessary for him occasionally to escape a life on the run but making her happy would become his favorite thing to do. No - it already was his favorite thing to do, he just has forgotten what it feels like.

It wouldn't hurt to make her happy every now and then.

It is midnight when they arrive and she yawns while taking off her heels. They had to change her attire a little. His world is far more objective and dependent on wealth and money than it should. They look like a perfect match with him in his tailored suits and her in her fancy dresses.

As she bids him goodnight, she squeezes his upper arm in thanks for a nice evening and once again he asks himself what he did to deserve this. He knows that he's ridiculous but he can't help it.

They still haven't talked about the Tom issue and he wouldn't let this topic slip.

Later, he lays down on the mattress and breathes out in relief. For the first time in weeks he has the feeling that everything is going to be okay.

* * *

This feeling lasts until he heard damped screams coming from Lizzies room. It is not the first time he hears them but he wanted to wait whether she would come to him or not. He pulls a white shirt on and tiptoes to her room. The door cracks open with a soft 'klick' and he watches her writhing between her sheets for a few moments before he decides to go in. Her face is enveloped in a painful expression causing him to frown as well. She repeats the word 'dad' more than once and it doesn't need a genius to guess what she is dreaming about.

That is his fault, too. The whole situation she is in is his fault.

He takes a step closer and carefully sits down. His hand reaches for her and his fingers gently stroke through her hair.

"Lizzie, wake up! You're having a nightmare.", he whispers and when words failed to calm her he slips closer and wounds his arm around her waist to pull her against his body in a safe embrace.

"I'm so sorry, Lizzie! So so sorry for causing you so much pain.", he repeats over and over again.

Her hand is sweaty as he takes her hand in his and laces their fingers together. She is still breathing heavily and he starts to hum the Anniversary Waltz. Eventually, it calms them both.

They are touching from head to toe and for a moment this feels strangely normal. She is so warm and he is immediately fond of the quiet puffing noises she makes when she is sleeping. He wants to hear this sound for as long as he can but the rise and fall of her shoulders lulls him to sleep.

How she will react when she wakes up with him so close he doesn't know but he hopes that she will welcome this intimacy as much as he does.

But whatever her reaction might be. He will do everything she wants him to do.

 **Tbc...**

 **Thoughts?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you so much for your reviews! You guys are the best.  
Dembe finally returns in this chapter and Red gets his chance to ask Lizzie about her night with Tom. I hope you like it.**

 **Again I don't own a damn thing here!**

* * *

He wakes up before her the next morning and a part of him is sad about that. The only object separating them is her blanket but he can feel the heat radiating from her body and he doesn't want to get up. He wants to hold her just a little longer. She is still clinging onto him and very much asleep so he disentangles himself from her and makes his way to the kitchen where Dembe is already waiting for him. His friend smiles broadly at him and he instantly knows why. They hug each other and he is truly happy to have his longtime friend around again.

"So,", Dembe starts and pours him a cup of tea, "how are things going between you and Elizabeth? I haven't heard any complains and I don't know whether this is a good thing or if you are still cruel to her and she's giving up on you."

"She remembers killing her father.", he explains and Dembes expression looks almost relieved. "What? This isn't a good thing by the way!" He takes a seat at the kitchen counter and sips his tea.

"It is. She has to deal with the truth sooner or later and knowing what you did for her works only in your favor. She can finally trust you, Raymond."

"If this reveal is the price to gain her trust, I have her rather not trusting me.", he replies in a low tone and stares at his hands. Those hands that held her last night and he wouldn't have had the chance to do this if things went down differently in the past.

"She already trusts you to a certain degree and you would be dead by now if you haven't had her saving your life my friend." His arguments are logically and well thought through and therefore impossible for him to dismiss.

"You know my answer to that." He would rather be dead.

Dembe only shakes his head. He can almost hear his thoughts. They are able to communicate without words.

Lizzie joins them later on and she pulls his friend into a hug, too. Not that it bothers him, but he can't manage to keep his jealousy intact. Now he's really being ridiculous and Dembe looks at him with a crocked eyebrow while he greets Lizzie. She, on the other hand, barely looks at him and this is confirmation enough for him that she knew that he had been with her.

He holds his breath as she sits next to him.

Dembe and her do some small talk while he solves the newest crossword puzzle in the newspaper.

"Did you sleep well?", she asks him cautiously. He puts the pen aside and let his eyes roam over her body. Her legs are crossed and tanned from their time in Bali, she wears blue boy-shorts that barely cover her thighs and a white tank top, and thank god he doesn't wear boxer briefs to bed, because he would probably embarrass himself in front of her.

"Yes -" His voice is husky so he clears his throat once. "Yes, I did. How was your night?" He tries to sound as innocent as possible.

Now she's smiling. He doesn't know how to find this.

"Actually, I did after you came in.", she says and she still smiles. This certainly is a good sign. "Thank you!", she adds quietly and squeezes his hand.

His eyes quickly focus back on the crossword. He has to bite down on his cheek, otherwise he would probably grin like a lovesick teenager.

"Villain in Shakespeares 'Othello'?", he murmurs and her answer is quick. Unfortunately, she would tease him forever about his lack of knowledge. He can live with that.

* * *

Their time in Uzbekistan is limited but Lizzie is, again, developing a daily routine. He must talk with her about this. Criminals avoid to have habits. Okay, at least smart criminals usually do. He learns that she's fond of Shakespeare though, and she's unbearable without her morning coffee. She is the complete opposite from him since Shakespeares tales doesn't really interest him and he's rather a tea person. It is difficult enough for him to fall asleep and caffeine wouldn't help him.

He asks her to take another route every day when she is going for a run. Even though Uzbekistan doesn't have an arrangement with the US, it is important not to fall into routines and, to his surprise, she agrees without any complains.

They have to return to the US for a meeting with Glenn. It's probably better if he goes alone but neither Lizzie, nor Dembe will let him do that. Mr Kaplan tells him that the media has stopped to report about Lizzies case. That makes things simpler.

* * *

It is the first time they are back in DC and he can see how uneasy Lizzie is as they drove through the city at night. He understands how she must feel. This has been his hometown as well for many years but time heals all wounds.

Almost all.

He had blown up his former house because he couldn't bare the memories it held.

He couldn't blow up a whole city though. Well, he could but he wouldn't except when this is what Lizzie wants. Then he'd move heaven and earth to make it possible.

Now, this is clearly a sick thought but what is normal anyway when it comes to those you love?

He drinks from his scotch as he hears a knock on his bedroom door. It is a soft, barely audible knock - _Lizzie_ , Dembes would sound more confident.

"Hey, do you mind if I come in?" Only her head sneaks in and of course he doesn't mind. He shakes his head and finishes his drink. Her gaze drops to the undone buttons on his chest and it is not the first time he has noticed her staring. He loves it when she looks at him like that. Being desired by a beautiful, young woman is not something every male experiences when he's past 50. Maybe, she doesn't desire him and is only attracted to him. To be honest he can't figure her out.

With his hands buried in his pockets he tilts his head and waits for her to speak up. She looks unsure and he absolutely dislikes it when she's uncomfortable around him.

"I can't sleep.", she confesses and worries her lower lip as if this isn't everything.

"You're still having nightmares." It isn't a question but an explanation. He holds out his hand and guides her to a couch. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I guess you know what I'm dreaming about. They're just so real and -", She's shaking and avoids to look at him, "the only night I could sleep was when you were with me."

Oh!

For a moment he doesn't know what to say. Is she asking him to stay with her, or is he supposed to offer this to her? He shifts on the sofa and clenches his jaw. Not in a million years he'd ask her.

"Okay, this is a stupid idea. I shouldn't have come - "

"No.", he cuts her off and his hand closes around her wrist, "You can stay. It's absolutely reasonable. Why don't you get changed and I see you in a few minutes?", he offers gently.

She nods and leaves him with a soft 'Thank you'.

After that he pours himself another glass. This is going to be heaven and hell for him. He never thought of her in his bed like that. How is he supposed to hold himself back when the forbidden fruit is so close to him? He knows that he cannot have her. Sam would be turning in his grave if he knew about his thoughts. He empties another two glasses and changes into his sleepwear, blue pants instead of boxer briefs and a white shirt instead of nothing. She still hasn't seen his scars and she hasn't asked about the man on the floor either.

He sits against the headboard when she enters the room and walks nervously towards his bed. She slips under the blanket while he chooses not to cover up. One shouldn't tempt fate but he lays down next to her and stares up to the ceiling, wondering if she wants him to hold her again or not. It was easier when she was asleep and he's afraid that she might reject him when he touches her.

Lizzie snuggles into his side, making the decision for him as she rests her hand and head on his chest. Her weight on him feels so good and he can't resist any longer and puts his arm around her to caress her silky skin. She sights as his fingernails trails their way up and down her arm.

"Really Red? Calm down!", she mumbles against his chest and again she smiles.

"I am calm."

"Your heart rate tells me otherwise."

And here he has hoped she wouldn't notice. He doesn't want to talk about that. Yet. His following move is probably rude and would definitely spoil this moment between them but he has to know -

"Why did you sleep with Tom?", he bluntly asks and he could feel that her breathing has stopped for mere seconds.

"Why do you sleep with Madeline?"

"This is something different. She never was my wife and we know exactly what and who we are.", he answers but he is a little delighted that she first thought of Madeline and not Lauren.

She retreats from his side and sits up. Her knees are pulled up to her chest. "We lost Andropov and with him gone I have lost the only person who could have given me any information about my mother. I am being framed by a secret organization and Tom was there. I think I- I was confused. I wanted to run away from all this but he promised me to find answers."

"He never had any answers to your questions. Tom did what he could do best. Manipulate you.", he says while turning his head.

"No, it wasn't a manipulation at all. I believe he wants to change. He asked me to call him Jacob but I don't really have interest in knowing Jacob. He doesn't even know himself and even if I clung to his alter ego Tom, I have realized that we are done."

"So you don't regret to have left him behind?" He's glad that she doesn't lie on his chest anymore because if she could hear his rapid heartbeat now, she'd be worried that he might die at any minute.

"Absolutely not."

She gives him a sad smile as if she knows how important her answer is for him. He truly feels better now that he understands why she acted like she did.

He pats her knee slightly and breathes out in relief. "Come here, Lizzie! You need to sleep." And she eagerly cuddles up close to him and softly strokes along his side which leaves him almost purring.

"Goodnight Red."

"Sleep well, Lizzie."

This night he would sleep peacefully for the first time in years.

 **TBC... Thoughts?**


	4. Chapter 4

**I re-wrote this chapter several times but I think it is not really fluid.  
Red is still quite frustrated and unsure in this one. ****I promise you, it will get better though. ;)**

 **Disclaimed as always**

* * *

They are doing this thing for a month now. No matter where they travel, she would sleep in his bed. He had come to her after their second night and asked her straight out if she was okay with that. She needed to rest and that wasn't possible when she is bothered by nightmares. He tells her that nothing that has happened was her fault. _  
_

_"It won't change anything between us."_ The words won't get out of his head.

Everything has changed since then.

He prefers to wear as little as possible to bed and he has been sleeping on the left side of the bed for over 20 years. Lizzie, however, actually wears as little as possible to bed and lies on the left side. He was sweating buckets when they had been in Ecuador. He had talked to Dembe and Mr Kaplan about that. Dembe suggested he should simply tell her while Mr Kaplan called him a masochist. He chuckled when he heard them saying this. They must think he is utterly dense but the truth is that he is just clumsy and he wants to do things right.

The first week had been pleasant. Lizzie craves closeness, his closeness to be precise and he would never deny her wish to cuddle up with him. He had hold her every night and sometimes she turned around and he could feel how her warm breath ghosted over his neck. Things started to get unpleasant two weeks ago. He was now the one dreaming about the fire and all the things that burdened her.

Maybe he'd feel a bit better when they'd switch sides but he is also just a man after all. A man with needs. He was never one of those who could handle sexual frustration. Fortunately though, they would go to Italy next week. To Florence. But he doesn't know whether he should see Madeline or not.

* * *

He loves to be in Florence and enjoys a bottle of wine on his terrace on a sunny afternoon. Samar gave Ressler a lead that would lead him to Ecuador. They travel without a plan. Of course he has a plan but Ressler would never find out since he doesn't know any of his associates personally. Everyone is hunting their shadows. It seems almost too simple for his liking.

He fills two wine glasses. Lizzie and Sam were not the only ones harvesting wine. While he hadn't harvested the grapes himself but the wine comes from his personal vineyard. His finger make quick work on the buttons on his vest before he takes the fabric off and places it over a chair nearby. With a glass in each hand he walks over to the white stone balustrade.

 _"I want a bottle of wine and then another..."  
_ He admires the view over the city, the Florence Cathedral and the Arno river. All that is being framed by the Apennine Mountains. Florence has a spectacular renaissance architecture, he loves the old buildings and small alleys.

She joins him soon after and she is looking so beautiful in her black dress that he has problems to breath. He will never get used to see her in those dresses which highlights her curves just in the right spots. By this time he yearns to touch her skin. He imagines him standing behind her, his fingernails grazing up her arms, then over her shoulder and down to her hips where he would hold her in place while his mouth teases the sensitive skin of her neck. He wants so badly to draw his name from her lips while he would open the zipper of her dress with his teeth and -

"Red?"

He snaps back to reality and she is looks more than confused while he is more than a little aroused at the moment. She is slowly driving him insane and she doesn't even do anything. She is simply there but that is enough for him in his current state.

He takes a deep breath and hands her the glass.

"Did I tell you that I acquired a vineyard last year? Dembe brought the bottle today and I thought you'd like to share a glass with me."

"I'd never decline such an offer.", she smirks, takes the wine and breathes in deep while her eyes are closed.

"And?" His voice has its usual tone back and sounds less throaty and that is quite a surprise, given the fact that he is still staring.

She hums in delight after she closed her red lips around the rim. She savors the wine and lets out an incredibly adorable smack.

"I'd suggest we come here more often. It is definitely worth the wine."

"I'll tell Dembe to fill the wine cellar in our safe houses with a few of those." _Our safe houses? Our?_ He casually sips his wine but he is panicking on the inside.

"If this is what you want."

"If this is what _you_ want!", he counters and leans back against the railing.

She rolls her blue eyes at him, she hasn't done this in weeks. He doesn't understand why though. His reply hasn't been rude, or mocking, actually the opposite.

"Listen, you need to stop placing my needs and wants before yours. You're not less important than I am. Don't get me wrong, it's flattering to have you doing all this for me but it does make me uncomfortable when you're uncomfortable." He flinches but he knows she's right and the fact that she is uncomfortable when he is uncomfortable makes him uncomfortable... Or something like that. He fails to understand himself lately.

"There is maybe something you could do for me then.", he says and taps his fingers nervously against his upper thigh.

She raises her eyebrows in suspicion.

"Would you mind switching sides in bed?"

She snorts at that. "If that is all..."

No, that is not all but he can't demand from her to wear longer clothes to bed and less attractive dresses during the day. Hell, they had chosen her wardrobe together and he isn't willing to indulge his desire for her.

 _"I sat there listening to you threaten me, threaten anyone who could hurt Liz. And all I could think was, you... You are the one who hurts Liz the most."_

How true Tom Keens words are. He should stay away as far as possible because what they are doing at the moment can only hurt her eventually as well, but then again she is safest with him, too.

"What else is on your list today? Any meetings?"

Oh yes, and she's not going to like this and to be honest, he doesn't know whether he likes it or not either.

"Yes. I know someone who has connections to the Chinese. The meeting is set tonight."

"Okay where are we going to meet them?" She is facing him and her cheeks are flushed from the balmy air or the wine. He can't tell why and it doesn't really matter to him anyway.

"I'm having dinner with her. Dembe will stay with you here.", he says calmly and now she seems to understand what he is implying, because she looks slightly embarrassed. Or is it disappointment?

How desperately he wants to kiss and tell her that she is the one he wants.

"Oh, okay..." She says nothing else to him, instead her hand rubs absently over the scarred flesh on her wrist.

Mr Kaplan has informed him about Madelines business in China and he hopes to get further information from her. On a usual day he'd be excited to see Maddi but it feels as if he is betraying Lizzie if he would sleep with his former lover although it is silly. He doesn't have any obligations towards her so why does he feel like a poor cheater?

Both empty the bottle in silence and if there has been a new-found connection between the two of them, it feels as if the flame has gone out already.

 **TBC... What do you think?**

 **In chapter 5 Red will have his dinner with Madeline. I haven't decided, yet if he'll have "dessert" or not.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for your reviews. I hope you are satisfied with this chapter. Red has dinner with Maddi and Lizzie is a little jealous.**

 **Disclaimed as always**

* * *

He is waiting for Maddie in a little restaurant. It was her suggestion to go there and ironically this is the place where they first met. While he is anything but pleased about this decision he didn't refuse. He absolutely doesn't care where they meet. The only wants information. She almost got him killed and brought Lizzie in danger.

Lizzie saved his life - twice.

Maddie brought them in grave danger - also twice.

But Madeline and he are on the same level. They are ruthless criminals although she is just a simple thief, they both can be lethal, they are evil and broken. They are everything that Lizzie is not and there lies the problem.

How can he ever be with her when he is the one darkening her soul?

* * *

He welcomes her with a kiss on each cheek and pulls out her chair before he goes straight to business.

"Tell me about the Chinese! What are their names? Where and when have you met them?", he demands in a low tone.

"You need to shave, Raymond. You look like a caveman." That, he has expected. She'd never give him freely what he wants. Plus, he only hasn't shaved for three days.

"Madeline, you have to give me answers, please."

"There will be time for begging later!"

Negotiating with her has been fun in the past but right now he wants it to be over. He has no interest in begging her for anything. He downs the drink he ordered beforehand and tries to stare her down but it has no use.

She has the upper hand and he doesn't appreciate to give up control.

"How was your time with the Kings if I may ask my dear?" He wants to wipe her smirk out of her face.

He tilts his head and wrinkles his brows. "They held me at gunpoint and I'd be dead if it wasn't for a dear friend of mine who risked her own life to save me.", he whispers dangerously low.

"All of this could've been avoided if you had showed up here." She says that as if he had a choice. What she doesn't know is that he didn't have one back then. He'd choose Lizzie above anyone else but her comment makes him furious. "This young woman from the embassy, the agent. This here is about her, isn't it? Her face was all over the media."

"Yes, it is. So now that we've cleared that up can we go back to my original question? The Chinese!", he hissed.

And much to his surprise she tells him everything he needs to know. Within 30 minutes he has their names and knows where their hideouts are and she demands nothing in return. He won't ask her further questions and better leaves it as it is. They make small talk during their dinner and he must say that he enjoys this evening with Maddie because she doesn't belong to his everyday life. He misses his occasional meetings with his associates. In the last few months there has only been Lizzie and him, and Dembe of course.

Maddie is a natural flirt and she strokes his ego throughout the evening which makes him feel so much better but her words doesn't have her desired effect. He only says that he likes her dress. Nothing more.

But he makes a decision and pays the bill.

It's only good food when there's a lot of it and this place is ridiculously expensive for their tiny plates.

They walk out together into the chilly night and he wants to bid her goodbye but she is quicker and presses her lips to his.

He doesn't respond, apologizes instead and wishes her a goodnight. She looks a little surprised and that makes him laugh as he walks down the road to his house.

* * *

The rooms in his house are dark when he arrives. He hangs his coat onto the hook and walks to his bedroom. Lizzie isn't there and it doesn't surprise him. He peeks his head into the guestroom but she isn't there either. That worries him.

He pulls out his gun and unlocks the safety as he slinks from one room to another. He finds two plates in the kitchen sink and an empty beer bottle on the counter, on the couch are wrinkled pillows and a blanket along with a DVD case. There are no indications for a fight but his throat feels dry anyway.

Or she is sleeping in Dembes bed.

Logically possible but that would never happen.

He rounds the corner and goes downstairs. He hasn't checked the pool, yet. With gun in hand he moves closer to the french glass doors and watches her swim. Lizzie floats gracefully through the water and he can't bring himself to tear his eyes away. She swims several rounds without noticing him. When she is diving her figure appears blurred under the moving water surface, making it look as if her body consists of several mosaic pieces.

Part of the windows are steamy due to his heavy breathing and that takes him out of his dreamy state. He slides the door open and is greeted by humid air and the smell of chlorine. He is still wearing his suit.

He stands at the pool edge and takes off his hat and navy blue colored jacket.

"Is everything okay?", she suddenly asks and points to the gun in his right hand.

He has forgotten about that. "I couldn't find you and I was worried."

She pushes herself up at the edge, revealing her perfect curves in doing so, and comes to a stand next to him. He lays the gun on a table and grabs a towel. His alcohol clouded mind can't deal with her appearance and a conversation on a psychological level at the same time.

"How was your meeting? You're back quite early." she asks and takes the towel, wrapping it around her wet body. It makes him feel a bit better.

"We finally know who represents the chinese in the Cabal, and where they hide.", he says and ignores her last statement and her implication.

"Do you want to throw a bomb in there?"

"Yes.", he deadpanned and tilts his head.

She whines and wrings out her hair. "That means we have to meet with Dimitri again."

He chuckles and remembers the last time they met him. He became his associate only weeks ago and he had a hard time to convince him to sign this damn contract. Lizzie basically shoved her breasts into his face, much to his dismay though, but she wound Dimitri around her little finger with a single look. He still wants to stick a knife into his eyes. No one should regard Lizzie as an object

"I'm sure he'll be delighted to hear from you already."

"I don't mix business and pleasure, if that is what you're trying to say.", she says and crosses her arms.

"Me neither."

She bites down on her lower lip and nods. "Red, you have _'Fire in the hole'_ on your face.", she jeers, the jealousy in her voice clearly audible to his ears and while this is nothing new, it pains him.

He squints to his lips and tries to remove it with the back of his hand.

"To each their own. It is what you do.", she adds and tightens the towel before she walks past him with a delicate sway of her hips. "Now you look like Batmans Joker!"

Okay, that is enough.

He grabs her by the wrist and pulls her more roughly back to him than he originally intended. For a moment she looks nearly frightened and he is instantly sorry. He softens his grip and lets out an unsteady breath.

"Sorry, I - I didn't...", he begins to stutter but she wouldn't let him finish. Of course she wouldn't. It is Lizzie after all. She is stubborn.

"No, I am sorry. I have no idea how your twisted mind works and what exactly is going on in that head of yours but I don't want to hear any of your I'm sorry blabbering.", she says softly and cups his cheek with her palm, forcing him to face her.

He leans into her touch and sighs.

"What do you want, Red?"

Well, this is a broad question. He wants to tell her that he didn't sleep with Maddie, he wants to tell her that she is who he wants, he still wants to kiss her, but the words won't come past his lips.

Her breath tickles his face and he can't hide his passion for her any longer. Those several weeks of closeness have strained him and he is in need of release. Emotionally and physically.

She makes him so weak.

His hands slide up to her rosy cheeks while he closes the distance between them but he wants her to make the final choice.

He hates to give up control unless to Lizzie.

Their lips meet ever so gently and he wishes this moment would never end, because he loves the anticipation and the first touch. The first kiss with someone tells you whether a relationship can work out or not and based on the heat that creeps up on him due to her soft lips against his is approval enough. He tilts his head and as he feels her warm tongue invading his mouth, which is a complete contrast to his hands on her still chilly skin, he can't help it but moan at the sensation. They break apart, panting with their foreheads pressed together.

He disrobes her from the towel and throws the fabric blindly into the pool while she eagerly unties the knot of his tie. She drops a line of kisses along his jaw to his neck and his eyes flutter shut on its own account as her teeth bite down on his pulse point. This is better than any dream he had about her and he had more than he wants to admit but it isn't enough for him. His hands travel to the small of her back to pull her against his arousal, making them both gasp and then down to her thighs. He exerts a slight amount of pressure and she takes the unspoken hint and wounds her legs around his waist.

He stumbles upstairs with her in his arms and the view he currently has is far too appealing so he pushes her against the nearest wall and caresses the skin above her bikini top; using his lips, tongue and teeth and he soon hears her moaning his name. The sweet taste of her soap mixed with chlorine is driving him mad. It takes all his self control, or what is left of it, not to take her right here between his kitchen and the living room. The moonlight shines through the curtain of the nearest window and he regards her in awe for a moment. Her lips are parted and her cheeks flushed in a shade of red. He hasn't paid attention to her neck, yet.

"There's someone at the door, Red!", she breathes and cuts her fingernails into the back of his neck while he is busy marking her as his.

"If they intend to kill us, they wouldn't stroll through the front door, sweetheart." He nuzzles her jaw with his nose and presses a kiss on the corner of her mouth.

"Red, let me down! I'm gonna need a gun." He loves it when she's annoyed.

"Hmm, in my pants.", he replies dryly and rocks against her.

She closes her eyes at the contact but immediately glares at him afterwards and he lets her down before she might punch him.

He opens the drawer next to the door and takes the gun. Whoever is behind this door is going to die. If only he had walked straight to the bedroom. He's feels like an idiot.

He looks through the peephole and groans out in frustration. "You'll need to get dressed. This might take some time."

"Who is it?"

"Samar, Cooper and Aram."

 **TBC... Opinions?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks again for your reviews. It keeps me writing! Sorry that they haven't made it all the way in my last chapter but it didn't feel right for me. Please, don't be mad. ;)**  
 **Enjoy Ch 6!**

 **Disclaimed as always**

* * *

It takes him almost 10 minutes and a few fingers of his finest scotch to get himself under control. Samar, Cooper and Aram are seated in the living room but they haven't told him, yet why they are even here. Cooper is supposed to be in prison, and Samar and Aram should be working with Ressler. Lizzie turns up in the kitchen soon after and has changed into yoga pants and a tee but her hair is still damp and messy. He quickly downs another drink and let his eyes linger on her legs for a while. It seems as if he has to settle for his dreams again. His head along with his mind is elsewhere at the moment anyway, namely trapped between her thighs to be precise. What a shame it is, because he was so so close. [Pun intended] Lizzie beckons him over with an amused look and pats him playfully on the ass as he walks by to his more or less welcome guests. Less welcome for sure.

He straightens his dress pants and sits down across from Samar who appears quite calm, Harold looks like a prisoner usually looks, scruffy, tired and thinner, only Aram is at the verge of crying and more than a little nervous.

"I guess you have a good reason for walking into my house like the three Stooges?"

"I have to assume that someone plans an attempted assassination on Liz as revenge for a murder you committed years ago.", Samar explains and those words alone sends shivers down his spine.

"And your assumption is based on what exactly?" He watches a confused looking Lizzie briefly from the corner of his eye.

"Mossad.", she says. "The mans name Aschkan Mahin and his late wifes name was ..."

"Yasmin Mahin." He remembers the persian couple that had violated his business plans in persia and tried to kill off Dembe. The poor man still has a scar and therefore it is more than reasonable that those responsible would pay for it. In this case it was Yasmin but he doesn't quite understand how Lizzies death would avenge the death of that woman.

"Unfortunately, this is not everything. The Cabal is beginning to eliminate the Task Force systematically. It is only a matter of time until all of us are indicted for crimes we may have or not have committed."

The room becomes suddenly hotter and not in a pleasant way. He is biting down on his bottom lip and looks questioningly to Aram, apparently they have started with him.

"The accuse me of stealing five million dollar and ...", Aram wipes the sweat from his forehead, "we both know that it's true. Samar has helped me to get out and we didn't know where else to go so..." He is in need of a tech guy anyway. Aram is one of the smartest persons he knows so he would be a fool if he doesn't take advantage of his knowledge.

He leans back into the cushion and sighs. "Harold?"

"I want to help. I do not serve time in prison and watch how the government takes down all of my people."

And here's the reason he likes Harold so much. He knows what it means to be loyal. "Good, here's what we'll do. Lizzie and I will see an associate of ours in Moscow tomorrow, Dembe and I will take care of Aschkan the day after tomorrow while Harold, Aram and Lizzie will stay in Moscow and you, Samar are going back to DC and make sure to put as many obstacles in Resslers way as humanly possible."

With that he stands up, purses his lips and waits for any complains and nods to himself.

"Very well, I suppose you all don't have a hotel room so you'll have to get along with my guestrooms on the main floor. Be ready to leave at 8 sharp. That is in...", he declares casually and checks for the time on his watch, "...in 7 hours and 30 minutes. I'll see you later."

* * *

He is certain that Lizzie won't join him shortly. She surely wants to hear details about Arams case but he it won't change a thing. This day has been awfully long and it could have ended heavenly, and now he could swear he has landed in hell. He eyes himself in the mirror as he undresses and chuckles when he sees the wet imprint of Lizzies bikini on his dress shirt and pants.

A part of him feels guilty that he is once again the reason she is in danger but she is on his side of the law now and it was bound to happen. He can only try to get rid of threats towards her.

And he will protect her at all costs.

When Lizzie comes to him, he is already half asleep but still awake enough to scoot over, enveloping her in his embrace and drop a soft kiss on the back of her neck. The feelings he harbors for her are growing stronger day by day, and being apart from her makes his heart ache but she can't come with him, close to the man who wants to murder her. His people will watch her from a distance while he is away and someone has to overlook what Dimitri is doing. He knows he can trust her with that. She is a quick study and more than capable to handle this.

* * *

If anyone had told him before that Aram Mojtabai and Harold Cooper would join his team, he would have laughed it off. He has given Aram an employment contract as well as a selection of safe houses. His house is not a hostel for runaways.

The same applies to Cooper.

He and Lizzie discuss their upcoming appointment with Dimitri. He tells her the price he is willing to pay in case Dimitri starts to re-negotiate when he is gone, the time span in which the bomb should be ready and where he should send it.

Dembe drives them to their meeting point in Moscow's inner-city.

Dimitri is 35 year old with full hair and in good shape. He is also a devoted bomb builder, much better than Rudiger. In short, he has a good reason to be jealous and the aspect that Lizzie wants to take the talking doesn't help.

The moment they enter the, with smoke filled, room the younger man's eyes are already all over Lizzie.

He can barely see a damn thing in this nicotine hell, Lizzie seems to be a little disgusted as well.

"Ah Elizabeth my love, here you are!"

"It's good to see you, but this is not a social visit. We are actually in need of your magnificent skills."

 _Magnificent skills? Pfft, she doesn't know how magnificent his skills are, yet._ He smirks to himself.

Dimitri's hands move past the small of her back while he is hugging her and he wants to punch something. If this is how Lizzie feels when he meets with other women, he has to show respect for her and the fact that she didn't kill them.

"And you'll need your hands for your 'magnificent skills', Dimitri, so why don't we go over to your little playground?" Lizzie awards him with a smile for his response and the Russian reluctantly pulls away.

"Then, what do you need, Lizzie?"

Now he has to swallow thickly and look away. He hates not to have his associate's full attention and even more he hates people who call her 'Lizzie'. His hands ball into fists and he can feel the blood rushing through his veins.

"It's Elizabeth.", she corrects him with a stern look and he is so grateful for that. "We thought about a clockwork bomb. It should be due within a week, sooner would be better though, further information is in the files, and if you have other suggestions feel free to contact me." Well, bossy Lizzie is certainly sexy.

He takes a deep breath and waits for this to be over, his foot tapping on the ground.

"I could implement the bomb into a notebook. Sounds good?"

He steps closer and tugs Lizzie possessively into his side. "As long as it detonates with a big boom, I don't care.", he shrugs and then he is being pulled nearer to the woman next to him.

It feels like a victory when he sees that Lizzie's pinky is hooked into his belt loop.

"It will be mind blowing."

"No experiments! We expect your work to be flawless or you're gonna have a 'mind blowing' experience in the future yourself. Understood?" Did she just threaten him? Dimitri nods and puts a folder on his table. This time he doesn't hug her when they leave.

* * *

Once outside again, they breath in deeply. While he has no problem with cigarette smoke, he finds it gruesome in such a small room without an open window and more than a little disrespectful towards Lizzie. He holds the door of his car open for her and ushers her inside with a hand on the small of her back before he rounds the vehicle and slides in himself.

"I hope my business with Aschkan won't take longer than a week. My people will always be close by and I accept your wish for privacy so they will watch you from a distance. If time allows it, show Aram how to use a gun. While I admire him for his 'good mind', that's not how it will work out.", he says and shifts in his seat. "This bossy behavior of yours is genuinely attractive by the way.", he adds quietly in a deep voice because he knows how much she likes that. She always shudders when he does that.

"I'll talk to Aram and I expect you to contact me as well while you're away on business." She smiles mischievously and he doesn't know what to think about that. Then she leans in and breathes into his ear. "Honestly Red, I need to know that you're alright, because your little predatory outburst earlier was a quite a turn on and I want to finish what we started." Her lips brush against his ear while she is talking and a chilly shiver runs down his spine.

His mouth suddenly feels dry so that he has to clear his throat. For a moment he considers telling Dembe to pull over, and to take a 30 minute walk but what are 30 minutes when you can have a whole night? They only have to wait a whole freaking week!

Dembe parks the car at the private airstrip, bids Lizzie goodbye before he leaves them alone and carries their luggage to his jet.

She is still leaning in. He takes profit of their position and presses his lips on hers. Her hands grasp on his collar, holding him in place while his is entangled in her smooth hair and the other serves as support on the front seat. As if he would pull away now. It is not passionate, or needy though but lovingly and it makes his heart flutter with joy. He hums from deep within his throat as he pulls back, and opens his eyes just in time to see her licking her lips in a appreciatively way.

"I'm gonna give you a call tonight.",he kisses her temple and continues, "If it will contain some dirty talk?", he nothing more but growls.

"We'll see about that. Now leave!" Given her dilated pupils, she is not loathed to the idea. She never ceases to amaze him.

He pecks her lips once more and heads to his jet.

If they continue to goad each other like that, he is going to explode but for some reason he enjoys it enormously.

 **Tbc.. thoughts? :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Thanks for your kind responses again! :)**

 **I wrote this Chapter during the day and it's way too warm here so I'm sorry if there are even more mistakes in there than before. I'm off to stick my head into the fridge now. :D**

**I own nada!**

* * *

Iran has always been one of his favorite countries to visit. He gets his munition and guns from here, and he invests his money in a local oil company. It is a gold mine. They immediately headed off to one of his colleagues who had happen to have connections to Aschkan Mahin.

He had told them that his 'obsession', as he called it, with Red began only weeks ago what is quite odd since his wife died 3 years ago. What are his motivations to kill a woman who just had joined him? Logically, it would make more sense to kill Dembe.

Anyways, they will pay dear Aschkan a visit tomorrow.

Dembe is exceptionally fond of the iran cuisine so they spend the evening together, devouring some delicious Chelow kabab. He would bring some of these for Lizzie, too. His friend shoots him an unreadable glare. It is never a good sign when Dembe does that.

"What?", he asks and reaches for another skewer.

"You're smiling and I try to find the joke in a situation like this!"

He shrugs and nibbles on the meat. "This situation is not about Lizzie anymore but about me. I'd say this is a good thing." He is constantly in danger after all.

"Wonderful indeed.", Dembe replies sarcastically and puts the dishes into the dishwasher.

* * *

He makes a few business calls, including a chat with Samar and Mr Kaplan. Kate suggests to send the cavalry for help but he doesn't think it will be necessary.

He runs himself a bath and removes first his vest, then his white dress shirt. The bullet wound has healed without problems. All of this could have been avoided if Lizzie had let him die back then. He talked with her about her bold move but of course she wouldn't hear any of that. Whether he wants it or not, she is as devoted to him as he is to her.

The bigger scar tissue on his back is an entirely different story though and he is uncommonly nervous of her reaction when she sees them. Will she turn him down? Lizzie isn't superficial but those burns are not just on his back. There are also branded onto his soul. They tell a story, a story he wants to forget.

He shimmies out of his pants along with his shorts, and looks over his slightly chubby belly to his feet. It has been some time since he was intimate, really intimate with someone and all this feels abruptly incredibly wrong.

What the hell is going on with him?

He exhales profoundly when he feels the warm water surrounding his body like a cocoon. His brain is full with thoughts, and yet he doesn't know what to think.

Just yesterday he has made the decision that he wants Lizzie. He could make the alcohol responsible for this but it would be a lie.

 _"The girl. She's worth it."_ In fact, the 'girl' is a grown up, smart and very attractive _woman._

Maybe, it is because he has expected rejection, not affection.

The cell phone in his trouser pockets vibrates. He bends over and flips open the phone.

 _Lizzie._

"Lizzie. Is everything okay?" He leans back and rests his elbow on the edge of the tub.

"Funny, I wanted to ask you just the same.", she replies warmly.

"Well, Dembe and I had Chelow kabab for dinner, I made a few phone calls, and my comfortable body and I are currently having a bath. So yes, I'm fine." He sounds distant, even to his own ears.

"The meeting, Red!"

"With a bit of luck we'll be back tomorrow. I got information on Mahins whereabouts but something sounds off there."

"You think it's an ambush?"

"Could be. Where are you?", he asks and puts her on speakerphone.

"My hotel room and before you ask, your security is still there. I have eyes on them." It somehow warms him that she's anticipating his questions, but is he really so easy to read?

"Good.", he sighs in relief.

"Why? What do you think?" He hears her rummage through her room.

"And here I thought you're a mind reader.", he snickers and reaches for the soap, "I don't know whether this is about you or me. My gut feeling tells me that you don't matter to him at all except of being a leverage. He or his employees knew that I'd come out of the hole I'm hiding in when you're in danger. That leaves me guessing who those employees might be. There are not many people out there who know about you and me, only ..."

"...the Cabal, the Task Force and Tom."

He opens the bottle, squeezes and sniffles. It's not really to his liking but it will be okay for one night. "Yes, and my bet is on Donald. He has also worked with Anslo to take me out in Brussels and it would make sense if he'd work with Mahin as well. They want to arrest me first and then you, because Ressler knows that he doesn't stand a chance against both of us. Together we are strong but vulnerable apart from one another."

He stops in his doings and rehears the last sentence over and over in his mind. The only sound left is Lizzies breathing on the other side and the splashing of the water in the tub.

 _"We're gonna make a great team."_

And in this very moment he could cry, because realization finally hits him. To other people this would probably sound completely logical but he has learned to think laterally while this is so simple.

 _"But I wonder if a ray of light were to make it into the cave, would I be able to see it? Or feel it? Would I gravitate to its warmth? And if I did, would I become less hideous?"_

The answer is yes and this time he is sober. He doesn't fear rejection either. He, Raymond Reddington, has made up his mind.

He craves _her light_ and now that she's on another continent, he's back in the dark and lost. But the second they lock eyes again, he will remember that _she_ is worth all this, because _they make_ a great team.

 _Together they are strong._

"You're such a romantic, Red." She tries to ease his tension and he picks up the noise of bullets falling onto a table.

"You're obviously not unless you consider a loaded gun romantic.", he chides and washes the soap off his body.

"That's in the eye of the beholder I guess.",she responds ironically, "Honestly though, please be careful tomorrow. Dembe and I can't handle another bullet in your chest.", she adds in a serious tone.

"I don't make promises I can't stick to but I'll do my best.", he says tenderly and wraps a towel around him. "Lizzie?"

"Huh?"

He dries himself off, puts on his shorts and brings the cell back to his ear.

"Um, I wonder if you would like to accompany me to Paris tomorrow? There's this restaurant I know, the L'Ambroisie at the Place des Vosges and, uhm the menu is sublime... Really.", he paces the room up and down with the phone balanced between his shoulder and ear, "I know this comes across offhand and you probably have other things in mind than to travel again, because of the jet leg but I thought you'd like to get out of your daily..."

"May I say something, please?"

"Sure!" He stands still now.

"You're cute and I'd like to go to Paris with you.", she whispers the last part so sweetly that he is sure he is going to die.

"I'm glad. I'll make a reservation and pick you up tomorrow." Where are the words when you need them?

"It's a date, then.", she chuckles softly. "Goodnight Red."

"Sweet dreams, Lizzie." He waits until she disconnects the call and closes his eyes. _It's a date, then._ A date with Lizzie in Paris is all he is thinking while he walks to his bedroom.

* * *

Dembe nods as he rounds a corner, the sign for Red to follow him into the building where Mahin should hide in. He values his friends protectiveness but he sometimes asks himself whether he does it because he is not as good in shape as Dembe or if it is the fact that he's older. He shoots better than Dembe. They found out about it when they tried skeet shooting once.

The hall smells of mold and the air is incredibly moist in there. Dembe comes to a stop in front of apartment 18. Glenn is not involved in this case, so this must be the right one. He points to the door.

Dembe is better at kicking in doors though.

He takes the lead from there and aims his gun towards the living room, then to the bathroom. His ear is on the wall and he notices three different voices. All male.

He casually enters the bathroom and shoots everyone but Aschkan. He drops his gun and shakes his head, a half hearted laugh escaping his lips in doing so.

"Aschkan. Look what you've gotten yourself into!" He points to the bodies on the bloodied floor.

Dembe moves past him to take Mahin into a chokehold.

"We have about a minute until you pass out. Lets make this quick. You'll tell me what I want to know and you may live.", he frowns, " You lie, you'll die! Did I make myself clear?"

He receives a choked 'yes' in return.

"Someone charged you to kill Elizabeth Keen. But I assume that was never your real job. Your job was to get me close to you. Who are you working for?"

Aschkan struggles against Dembes hold, the color slowly leaves his face as well.

He raises his gun and shoots him in his right knee. The man whines out loudly and falls to the ground.

"I want a name!", he growls.

"Phelps. Jacob Phelps. That's all I know, I swear.", he cries out.

Well, this is a surprise and it all makes even less sense to him.

They let him lie on the floor and get out before someone else might sees them.

On their way to the airstrip, he dials Lizzies number but it goes straight to voicemail.

"Lizzie, I just wanted to let you know that we're on our way back. I received some interesting information...and I'm looking forward to tonight."

 **Tbc...Opinions? :)**

 **Well, dinner will be served in Chapter 8. ;)**


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the delay but I struggled a little with his one! It is the fluffiest chapter I have written so far. It's a fluff fest. Sorry! :D**

 **Disclaimed as always**

* * *

 _"Be calm, be collected, be debonair! Just be yourself!"_

Everything he knows about women, he knows from his father. He was a smart man and he wishes he could talk to him right now, because he is anything but calm and collected. At least he hasn't lost his charm, yet but who is he? What kind of person is he?

He usually doesn't talk with Lizzie about his personality. He has avoided this like the plaque in the past but the turn of events forces him to let his guard down. No talk of business while they are here. That he has promised her on their flight. No talking about Tom, Ressler or the Cabal.

This evening is going to be a soul striptease, then.

But first he has to find a fitting tie, a green and light gray one are neatly placed on the bed in front of him. Gray is described as detached, neutral, impartial and indecisive. It is also a color of compromise, it is in the middle of black and white. He has read it creates a sense of composure and calm.

He holds the fabric against his dress shirt and looks in the mirror, too monotonous and boring.

Green, on the other hand, is the color of spring and the equilibrium between head and heart. It is supposed to give people the ability to love and nurture themselves and others unconditionally. This sounds fitting to him so far and looks nice, too. Green it is!

* * *

She is flawless. That is all he can think of while his eyes roam over her curves. She's wearing a black strapless dress that stops short above her knees with the zipper at the back. A silver necklace attracts his attention to her neck and collarbone. Her make up is subtle but it highlights her cheekbones and blue eyes just fine. He tells her how stunning she looks and she blushes. Then, he says it again, just to make her blush once more.

Several candle chandeliers decorate the restaurant, creating an intimate and warm atmosphere in the dining room. His eye catches her admiring the tapestry wallpaper, and he was afraid that she wouldn't like the style of the 17th century. He tells her about the time when he was first there and that he visits this place at least twice a year.

They leave their coats at the entrance and are seated at a table in a quiet corner.

He remembers the first time he asked her out. Well, he didn't asked her out directly, he disguised it as a meeting and they didn't have dinner together either but from this moment on he knew there was sort of a spark between them. They look over the menu in silence. He orders a bottle of Chardonnay and baked stuffed mushrooms.

She catches him a little off guard as she orders The Aviation.

"I knew you liked it but it's good to have a final confirmation.", he smirks.

"You're a bluffer!"

"Peoples eyes reveal more than you think. They show you whether someone is lying or truthful, or whether your opponent likes you or not, and sometimes even if someone likes the Aviation or not."

"What else do you think you've found out about me?", she asks with challenge in her voice.

"As much as it hurts me to say that, but you were frightened the day we've met. You said you didn't wanted to socialize in Montreal but you enjoyed that you had my full attention. Your were intrigued. Of course I noticed your ongoing lip starring and not to forget your jealousy." He bites down on his lip as she glares at him with a look of surprise.

"That explains your starring all the time."

"This and the fact that you have beautiful eyes and I can't help it.", he replies in a gravelly voice.

"Red, please stop making me blush."

"Never. It suits you.", he says, leaning forward to plant a quick kiss on her reddened cheek.

Their drinks arrive shortly before their plates and this evening is going well so far. It is easy to talk with her during dinner, easier than he has expected. He even forgets about the problems they currently deal with. They are just a man and a woman tonight who enjoy each others company. From the look on her face he can tell that the fish she ordered must be delicious. He dares to steal some of her meal off her plate, only to get his hand playfully swatted.

They share the same music taste. He never thought she would like Jazz, but he immediately thinks of taking her to the Vanguard if they visit New York in the future. She tells him about her time in Quantico, the pieces of information he didn't have before. He has known that Lizzie wasn't a prude but he will never look at a library the same. In return she demands a story from his former life. He can't deny her anything so he tells her about his time in the Navy, how he had sneak out the window to get to a local party and ended up naked in a closet.

"If you had the chance to settle down permanently. Where would that be?", he asks and takes a sip from his wine.

"Somewhere at the coast in Ireland."

Her answer came fast although she never mentioned a fondness for this country before.

"Why there?"

"I've only been there once to be honest but the vegetation and nature appeals to me as well as its peacefulness. It's just , the recent months have been exhausting and I'm already tired of metropolises and this hectic life we're leading. Waking up in all your safe houses and hotel rooms is fine but the furniture, paintings and tiles is all yours. I mean, I don't really have anything anymore that is mine, and waking up in your own sheets to the sounds of waves breaking against the cliffs is tempting."

He leans closer and covers her hand with his. When there's a person in this unfair world, it is him and he leads this lifestyle for over 20 years. He could offer to buy her a house but that would be presumptuous. She declined an apartment after all. He would find a middle way to make her happy.

"As a matter of fact it is quite equal to my own desires.", he says reassuringly and gives her hand a soft squeeze.

Their eyes linger on their joined hands on the table.

"Where would you want to go?"

"I don't care exactly where it is, I originally wanted a place with a quiet stream nearby, but the Atlantic is absolutely fine, too. It is more about the person you're with."

"Do you believe this day will ever come?"

"Do I believe that? No, not really. Do I hope for it? Definitely! Hope can be a deadly feeling but it helps you to weather a storm and sometimes those things you hope for simply happen."

He is quiet for a moment and regards her profile.

"If anyone had told me that this here.",he points with his hand between her and him, "would happen, I would have never believed it and now here we are. And I can't thank you enough that you gave me this chance despite the horrific things I have done to you.", he says, his voice full of emotion, because it feels like a dream. If it is, he doesn't want to wake up. Ever.

"I wouldn't have agreed to this if I were mad at you. I did because I wanted to."

"Thank you for tonight, Lizzie."

"The night is still young.", she replies with a sly smile and laces their hands. "We should go!"

* * *

He is more than happy to spend some time alone with her, without other people around them or waiters. The hotel is relatively close by so they decide to take a walk through the streets of Paris. He wraps his coat around her when he notices her trembling bottom lip. It feels so good to have her leaning against him. This has been one of the best days in years. No, it is the best day he had in years and it is not even over.

Too bad those days will be rare but he will take what he can get.

They enter the elevator and ride in silence. While it was comfortable before, the situation now is filled with tension. Admittedly, he is also a little nervous. He has made arrangements that nobody would bother them this time. Thank god for Dembe and his understanding. If someone dares to do so though, he'll jump off the balcony.

He holds open the door for her and steps into the room right after her.

 _"Be calm, be collected, be debonair. Just be yourself!"_

He doesn't know what has gotten into him as he hears himself asking the most ridiculous question.

"Okay. So, now what?"

 **Tbc... Did you like it?**

 **The rating will change to M in the next chapter.**


	9. Chapter 9

**Thank you for your responses to the last chapter! _  
_They finally make it in this chapter but I've never written m-rated stuff before. To be honest I'm still blushing, so please be kind to me! :)**  
 **I hope it is not too bad.**

 **Disclaimed as always**

* * *

 _"Okay. So, now what?"_

He is waiting for a response as he stands by the door with his hands hanging loosely at his sides. The hotel room includes two bedrooms in case either of them wants privacy. He doesn't want to make her uneasy by thinking his only intend is to take her to bed although he wants to do that. The scars on his back are still a secret between them but how should he address this sensitive topic? If he is doing it now, they are going to talk most of the night about it, the chance that his shirt remains on is small, and finding out about them while they are undressing isn't sexy either.

Her eyes lighten up in amusement as she slowly approaches him, her arms sliding around his neck where her fingernails scratch along his skin. Four layers of clothes are separating her from another truth of their past, and he must bring it up now but the way she is looking at him, with so much expectation, her lips curling up into a smile that makes his inner walls tumbling down, is strangling him. He works his jaw as if to finally say something, his eyes fluttering shut to make it somehow easier for him when he doesn't see her reaction.

"What's wrong, Red?", she whispers and he can feel her breath on his face, smell her sweet scent as he breathes in and he inwardly curses himself that his senses are much more pronounced whenever she is near him.

"What did you mean when you said you remember everything?"

"Wow, you couldn't have thought of a better point to discuss this.", she replies almost saddened.

His hands close around her arms to put a distance between them but also to stroke over the scar on her wrist. "Believe me, I don't do this because I don't want you. I want us to happen more than anything but there is something you have to know before.", he says hoarsely.

"What is it?"

He hasn't found the courage to open his eyes, yet but he finds comfort in touching her scar. "Do you remember who pulled you from the fire or is this part of your memory still blocked?"

"I remember you. You must have heard my screams and you were trying to pull me out but...you were injured." _  
_

Her left hand grazes over the part of his back where his scars are and he lets out a breath he hadn't known he was holding. "Why haven't you told me?"

"You've been so unapproachable in the recent weeks that I couldn't find the right moment to put it on the table. I should have but I couldn't. I'm sorry." She frees her hand from his grasp and palms his cheek, her thumb caressing over his closed eyelid. "Look at me, Red!"

They are almost in the same position when they first kissed, Lizzies warm palm on his cheek and their faces so close that their breaths mingle in the little space that is left between them. He opens his eyes and finds her gazing meaningful back at him. "You're not only my sin-eater but also my life saver and those scars belong to our past, they represent how our story began but we're not done, yet. If you have been afraid that this reveal scares me away, then I can assure you that it only brought me closer to you."

Her words are balm for his soul and he feels the noose around his neck loosen. He could tell her what an unbelievable human being she is, that she is his salvation, he could declare his love in 50 different languages but no words can describe what he is feeling, how _she_ is making him feel and how she has changed him. Despite everything she looks absolutely radiant, and her eyes are glancing back and forth between his lips and eyes. This time he closes the remaining distance and lays his lips upon hers. What started out as soft is quickly turning into a greedy kiss with tongues fighting for dominance, especially Lizzie seems to have lost her patience already but he won't rush this.

He intends to take his time with her.

He takes a hold on to her waist and pushes her blindly to his bedroom while her hands are working on the buttons of his vest, shoving the fabric and his jacket off his shoulders. His lips move from her mouth to her jaw and then neck, teasing the skin there with his teeth before soothing the spot with his tongue, earning a moan from her. They break apart, her hands pushing against his chest to stop him from moving.

"Care to give me a hand with the dress, Raymond?", she asks coyly and moves further into the room.

The way his name, _his given name_ , rolls off her tongue sends another shockwave through him and something inside him just snaps.

"Turn around!", he commands, his voice full of desire.

He grabs a wrist in each hand and puts them against the wall next to the bed.

"Your hands remain there until I'm done, understood?", he whispers into her ear and gently tugs her hair across her right shoulder.

"Yes.", she replies albeit a little breathlessly.

He places soft kisses down her neck while he runs his hands up her hips over her belly to her breasts, giving both a gentle squeeze before going back to her waist. She lets out a whimper at the lost of contact what makes him smile in return. He takes the zipper of her dress between his teeth and pulls it down slowly, the tip of his nose brushing against every inch of newly exposed flesh in the process.

She brings him down to his knees, literally.

Her back is covered in goose bumps already and he is more than proud of himself that he has driven her to this state with so little effort. The dress flops to the floor, leaving her in her black lace bra and panties. He cranes his neck and admires the curves of her butt and spine before tossing her gown to the side. It is impossible not to leave marks on her perfect skin.

His hands slip beneath her panties, removing them while his fingertips scratch a line down her thighs. He leaves little kisses and bite marks onto her ass and legs, her hums of pleasure spurring him on even more. This is torturous for her and for him as well but he wants it to last as long as possible. A solid foreplay is vital after all. He makes himself comfortable between her and the wall, looking up to her. Her eyes are closed, her lips trembling and cheeks flushed. Simply beautiful.

"Lay your leg over my shoulder, Lizzie!"

"If you're trying to kill me Raymond, you're doing good so far.", she says, her voice shaking.

A quiet laugh escapes him while he is steadying her with one hand and pulling her closer to him with the other. His tongue dips between her folds, beginning to draw small circles and skillfully leading her close to the point of no return, stopping short before her release. The taste and sight of her writhing and moaning above him, or how her hips repeatedly buck against his obliging mouth is something he never would want to forget.

"God, please!", she moans, their eyes locking.

He groans and closes his lips around her, his tongue flickering furiously over her core until she screams her release into the room. He watches her riding out her orgasm, and gets up with his arousal straining painfully against her upper thigh.

"Are you done now?", she breathes.

"Yes", he answers with a smug smile and licks his lips thoroughly.

"Good!" She desperately pulls him towards the bed, removing his tie as well as his dress shirt on the way while he toes off his brown leather shoes along with his socks and unclasps her bra with a quick flick of his hand.

She tugs at his undershirt, huffing in frustration and mumbling something like _"Next time you're only gonna wear a polo shirt."_ before she pulls it over his head and then starts undoing his belt. He lets her have the upper hand now and enjoys her ministrations, her mouth sucking his neck leaves him purring but he can't hold himself back any longer. He slid off his pants and boxers and kicks them aside.

They take a moment to regard each other before he tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and leans down to kiss her tenderly. He doesn't want her to think that she is a means to an end. She pushes onto his shoulders, forcing him to sit on the mattress and straddles his lap, her hands running up and down his chest, eliciting a hiss as she scrapes over one nipple.

He wraps his arm around her and crawls back until his back hits the headboard.

She positions him beneath her and slowly sinks down. He holds tightly onto her hips as he enters her inch by inch. When he is fully inside, both moan at the intensity of the contact. He captures her lips in another passionate kiss as they begin to move together. She sets a slow pace at first which allows him to finally pay attention to her breasts; kissing, nibbling and massaging them.

She looks more than marvelous at the moment, all sweaty and flushed. Her nails alternately dig into his neck, shoulders, chest and arms, and her rhythm soon becomes frantic and therefore it becomes harder for him to hold back but he needs her to come first.

"Let go, Lizzie!", he groans and thrusts upwards.

"Oh god!" She's riding him faster and comes hard around him with his name on her lips. He continues thrusting into her, keeping his eyes tightly shut and biting down on his lip until he comes with a guttural moan soon after her. This moment, with her in his lap is his personal heaven.

Neither of them said or moved for some time, instead they hold each other close and he shudders when she lightly strokes over his sideburns. Her heart is beating as fast is his is, almost in synch. She moves over to her side and pulls the blanket over their bodies.

He misses her touch immediately. His post coital personality is naturally tired but he also loves to cuddle.

"Hey.", she smiles and pulls him down to her.

"Hey." ,he answers and gathers her in his arms.

"You okay?"

"Hmm.", he hums.

"Are you really just like every other man and sleepy right after having sex?", she asks, amusement clear in her voice.

"I AM a man and not an alien, Lizzie!", he mumbles.

"You're Raymond Reddington."

His reply was a short _"I'm just an ordinary man."_ although he knows he is not. It is simply the fact that he has felt like an ordinary man with Lizzie tonight. He falls asleep with a smile on his face and the thought of feeling like this more often now.

He just wants to be an ordinary man with an extraordinary woman.

 **TBC... I run and hide now!**


	10. Chapter 10

**many thanks for the reviews and I apologize for not updating in so long but I lost my muse.**

 **I hope you still enjoy the story.**

 **I own nothing.**

* * *

When he awakes the next morning, her side of the bed is already cold. He cuddles her pillow and sighs satisfied , it smells of her perfume with a hint of sweat and sex.

Last night means everything to him, her hands had been all over him, the imprints of her fingernails and scratches don't hide what they have done and he wouldn't want it any other way. She was, and to a certain degree is, touching him in places he hasn't been touched for so long.

She is in possession of his heart and mind.

He peers further into the room and surveys the damage they have caused. They are scrapes on the wallpaper where her hands had been, their clothing lies scattered on the floor along with some pillows. It is utterly chaotic.

He loves chaos, especially when it comes to sexual activities.

"Good morning, sleepy head!"

Only wearing his shirt she climbs back to bed with her tablet in one hand.

"What are you doing?", he replies a little drowsy.

"Giving Samar an update."

He crocks an eyebrow and watches her profile. She is worrying her bottom lip while she is typing a message. His shirt barely covers her thighs but it reveals her long, silky legs which are currently crossed.

He rolls onto the side to face her. Resting on his elbow, he peeks at the screen but she has put it on standby mode. His irises wander to her face, and for some reason she's regarding him with a cheeky smile.

"An update about what?", he asks amused.

"About our current situation."

"That means you half naked next to me.", he replies sultry, his palm running along her smooth skin.

"Exactly. Samar and I grade all men with whom we spent the night. I gave you a B- by the way.", she remarks with a playful glint.

Her eyes follow the movement of his calloused fingers as he takes the tablet and puts it on the nightstand, his lips curling up. "B-? I was a tad overwhelmed but why don't we postpone breakfast and I show you what I'm capable of?"

"Uh, I'm afraid we have to leave. Samar told me that Ress has a lead on us. We need to change location as soon as possible." She presses a light kiss against his temple and rolls out of bed. She walkes toward the bathroom and throws her head over her shoulder, giving him a pointing look. "I'm having a shower though. So if you're interested...", she winkes at him while shoving off his shirt.

He doesn't have to think twice, licks his lips appreciatively and follows her.

* * *

After their romp under the shower, they enjoy a quick breakfast, consisting of Croissants for both of them, tea for him and coffee for Lizzie. He would like to stay just a little longer, leaving their war against the cabal and Ressler's obsessive manhunt behind. He just wants to curl up with Lizzie under the sheets. She dresses in casual attire, black skinny jeans and a blue blouse that emphasizes her breasts. He knows she is doing that for him and not for her.

He carries their luggage to the elevator while she teasingly glides her palm to his butt. Once inside, he leans in and all but growls into her ear, "If I were you I would stop this attempt or I'm going to push the 'Stop' button and take you right here."

She tries to remain unaffected but, god, his voice is making her weak in her knees. Pointing to the camera, she replies in a ironic tone. "If you like to be watched, please go ahead."

"Don't you enjoy a good movie every now and then?"

"You refer to porn as a good movie?"

He huffs a laugh. "A porn of us is more like a 'That's how it's done' video. A lot of men would benefit from your tongue technique. I mean the things you're doing with your sweet mouth... good god!"

She smirks satisfied about his words. Being together with a man of his experience has been something she was afraid of. She was afraid that she would never be enough for him so his statement warms her enormously. Lost in thought, she almost misses how the lights go out. Pushing one button after another, she glances over to Red.

They are trapped and his look of utter horror doesn't make her feel better.

He opens the duffel bag, hands her a gun and a magazine, then reloads his own and opens the trap at the ceiling. "I don't know how many people are waiting for us but I feel like I have to remind you on our little chat after the King auction."

She furrows her brows as she climbs up the wall. "Yeah, I said I care about you and you have to deal with it. The latter one is still true but you should know by now that I love you for god's sake and I sure as hell won't run away when you're about to die. Did I make myself clear?" She's breathing heavily as she crawls back and looks down to him. "I love you, Raymond Reddington whether you want it or not. Now that we've discussed this, come up here!"

He forgets to speak. She loves him. Lizzie loves him. It's actually not that much of a surprise after last night but hearing those special 3 words set something inside of him free. He feels human.

He jumps, gripping the edge of the trap and hoists himself up. How badly he wants to tell her the same but now is hardly the time to do so. When he's going to say those words, he imagines Lizzie in a dress, surrounded by dozens of candles and jazz music.

He's a hopelessly romantic.

They crawl through the hoistway, the darkness and silence terribly disturbing for him. He watches their surroundings. He kicks another trap with the heel of his shoe until it falls to the ground with a muffled thud.

There's no one in the hall except hotel guests who think this must be a simple power blackout. "Red?", he hears her saying from behind him in a tone that makes him cringe. She sounds terrified and even looks more so as he turns around, and she's pointing to an object that is attached to the wall. He knows instantly what it is.

"Run!"

He grabs her hand and pulls her along as fast as he can, the ticking sound coming in closer intervals. Before the bomb goes off, he pushes her to the ground and shields her with his body. The blast is intense as well as the the loud banging noises in their ears. He tightens his grip on her when he feels splinter from the chandeliers and walls flying by.

Then the earth turns black around him.

* * *

When he opens his eyes, the first thing he sees is Lizzie above him. She's devastated, her eyes red rimmed from crying and the dust that is floating around. Her lips are moving but he doesn't hear anything she's saying. All he hears is a high pitched 'beep'.

Squinting his eyes shut, he tries to get up. Out, they have to get out is all he thinks. The hall is on fire, luckily it's not the direction they have to go. Lizzie pulls him up, his knee hurting badly.

"Lizzie, are you hurt?" He must have screamed because she is startled as the question leaves his mouth. She nods once and her answer is such a relieve to him. He can't bear the thought of Lizzie being harmed because of him.

She puts an arm around his waist and they stumble to the exit together. His eyes see the light at the end of the tunnel. He groans again but this time it is because of his head.

"You're bleeding!", she says concerned. Well, at least he can hear her this time.

"Just a small cut."

Then their eyes simultaneously fall to a small figure, curled up in fetal position on the ground, sobbing quietly.

A child.

Red is with him first, squating in front of him. He asks the little boy where his parents are but he doesn't understand french, nor english so he tries it in chinese and it seems to work. He looks up to Liz and shakes his head, defeated. "He says his father brought him here before going back to get the mother."

"Where did he go?"

He nods in the other direction which is burning down. There's no chance that his parents could have survived the fire.

She worries her bottom lip with her teeth, considering their options. They can't leave him here. Reds expression is pain stricken, his eyes watering. She understands now how he feels when she gets hurt on his many missions. This time they both are to blame for the death of so many people and for the boys fate.

"Let's take him and leave!"

He picks up the child, carrying him safely outside. They disappear without getting caught by paramedics or the local police. Gladly, none of them is injured badly.

* * *

His jet is waiting at a disused airstrip where he can finally tape the wound at his head. He's going to take them to Argentinia until he receives information about those responsible for the attack.

The boy sits safely in Lizzies lap, looking fearful.

"Hey sweetie, what's your name?", he asks in chinese.

"Hui Wang." His voice is shaking and he asks him about his parents again. Deciding to delay this topic he strokes gently over his short black hair, tells Hui his and Lizzies full name.

His tiny fingers wander to Lizzies hand, holding on tight as the jet heads off. He cannot be older than 3. This whole situation must be beyond dreadful. She rocks him gently back and forth, quietly singing the Anniversary Waltz for him while watching Reds fond expression.

"He seems to like your voice.", he whispers while they watch how his head falls back against Lizzies chest.

"He's been through a lot. What are we gonna do with him?"

"Dembes family lives in a small village near Buenos Aires. We're gonna stay there for a while."

"I thought Dembe has no family.", she says a little confused, her knuckles drawing small circles on Huis cheeks.

"He's never told you anything?"

She crocks an eyebrow at him questioningly.

"Dembe is married and father of a one year old."

Of all the things, she couldn't have seen this coming.

 **TBC...let me know what you think. :)**


	11. Chapter 11

**Yay, I'm glad that some of you are still interested in this. If not, feel free to tell me. :)**

 **I own nothing.**

* * *

Dembes wife Isabella welcomes them as they arrive in the village at night the day after the attack. She carries an infant with big shiny brown eyes in her arms. Hui sits atop Red's shoulders since they've had to walk a few miles to Dembes house. They decided to lie low for a while until they will find those responsible.

Isabella leads them to the backyard where Dembe just has ended a phone call. The two men hug each other tightly and she feels sorry for invading Dembes privacy. He hadn't told her about any of this. About his wife, or his son and now they have to have endager a family to stay safe.

She's not sure whether Red feels the same but he was quieter during their flight and she's afraid that he might build up his walls again. She wants to be there for him because all this is not just his fault. They are both in this together now. They are both targets.

Red's friend shows them around the house. It is small and not very different from the other houses. Nobody would suspect them here. At least she hopes so. He brings them downstairs. Shoving away a thick wood shelf, he types in a code in order to open another hidden door which leads to a flat beneath his house. Its interior smells surprisingly new and the security measures couldn't be any newer. She suspects that Dembe will live there with his family until they leave but he drops their bags in the living room next to the couch.

"The fridge is fully stocked; towels are in the cabinet in the bathroom. If you need anything, give me a call."

Dembe hugs them briefly and strokes softly over Huis dark hair before he goes upstairs again. They have yet to discuss how to proceed. Hui may has lost his parents but they need to find his relatives.

Red prepares dinner but she doesn't feel hungry. The last time she has eaten something was in Paris and although they are safe and the boy has calmed down a little, she wants to vomit.

"Lizzie, you have to eat, sweetheart!"

She regards him with a tight lipped smile before she watches how eagerly Hui empties his plate. He is a child and barely understands the damage they have caused, that ultimately they are guilty of the death of his parents.

He is suddenly behind her, rubbing her shoulders in a soothing manner. "We're going to find his family. Glen is already working on it."

"It is our fault."

"No, we are victims of a crime. We didn't murder all those people."

Her head falls back against his belly as he massages just the right spot. He is right but they should have been in Russia except Paris and fighting their enemies instead of enjoying themselves.

"Maybe but if we haven't gone to Paris, then..."

"Then we would have missed a perfect evening and an even more perfect night. I am deeply sorry for what has happened but I don't regret it. You and I were in need for a distraction."

"Yeah, you're right."

He drops a kiss onto her hair and cleans the table while Hui is watching them with great intensity, his eyes moving through the unfamiliar environment he is currently in. His legs flounce back and forth beneath the table but he refuses to talk except when Red is asking him questions.

She hopes he soon feels comfortable enough around them and begins to talk. It is a really stupid thought and she knows that he is confused and scared but his silence makes her uneasy. After Red has finished cleaning up, he takes the boy by the hand and asks him something she can't understand. She really needs to study more languages.

"I'm gonna bring him to bed. He wants to hear a bedtime story though. Do you want to join us or do something else instead?"

"I'll be with you in a minute."

She pours a glass of water and wonders why Red is so at ease. He smiles when he's talking to the boy and it worries her because they won't keep him. It is not their child and she wants to avoid in becoming emotionally invested. Does he want children when this is over or would it be too painful?

When she enters the guest room, she grins for the first time since the incident. Red lies atop the sheets, his vest and tie neatly placed on the armchair next to him, and Hui beside him in a simple blue pajama that Dembe must have organized.

She props herself up on her elbow next to Red and listens to his smooth voice as he begins to tell a story in chinese. Reds tone varies in pitch as he speaks and as she lays her head upon his shoulder, she feels the vibration of his vocal cords which is so unbelievingly comforting for her. She has no idea what he is talking about, it is just his voice that makes her forget for a moment.

It doesn't take long until Huis eyes grow heavier but he seems so interested in Reds tale that he fights the urge to sleep with all his power. He rolls onto his side eventually and mumbles something which makes Red laugh adoringly. His answer is short but filled with persuation.

* * *

They watch him for awhile until he falls asleep before they quietly leave him and creep to to the master bedroom. She dresses in one of his undershirts and boy shorts while Red uses the bathroom. Sliding under the covers, she realizes that this is the first night they will sleep together since their relationship became intimate. They have shared a bed for months but somehow this is different. There are no boundaries between them anymore but he hasn't said that he loves her, yet.

His arms encircle her from behind as he comes to bed. Breathing out, she adjusted her position and takes the hand that lies on her abdomen in hers. "What was the story about?"

"I told him about a young prince who had been cursed by a powerful group of wizards before his own kingdom abandoned him. The prince was once eager to become king but then he found out how they had treated their folk and he wanted to change that. They charmed him, he lost everything and he turned into a poor nomad who wandered through the landscapes for years where he found loyal, brave people and created his own army. But he was miserable and a hideous figure, just his heart remained pure as snow, craving to be free again. When he was asleep, he dreamed of a young, beautiful princess who told him that the day would come. The prince thought she had meant the day he would be free again was the day he dies and then they met and he was spellbound. All the time he wished her to be real and not just a picture of his imagination and suddenly she was there with him. She saved him all those years from giving up although she didn't trust him at first. But there was a spark and they eventually fell in love with each other. She was right when she said the day would come. She saw right through him and gave him back his will to survive, his will to be happy. She was his savior and together they fought against the wizards and the kingdom." He hooks his chin over her shoulder as he whispers each word into her ear, only occasionally stopping to leave a tender kiss on her skin.

He must have been a great father and she couldn't have wished for a better partner in her life. Turning on her back, her palm found his neck, caressing the soft hairs there. "Did the prince succeed?"

"Hui asked me just the same and they have yet to find that out but no matter the outcome he succeeded because he was with the person he loved the most and gave love in return. Even if he loses the war, he never gave up, he fought with all he had and spent the rest of his days happy and not alone."

His words send shivers down her spine and a silent tear down her cheek. She should've known that he'd never phrase a declaration of love as a simple 'I love you' but as a touching gesture. He showed his love with actions and gestures, and this he did everyday anew.

"But they will win this war, because she loves him just as much and they deserve a happily ever after. She is his queen and will protect him at all costs."

She pulls him down for a searing kiss, feeling him tremble above her. His kisses feel like healing, honest, powerful and, yet so lovingly that it takes her breath away. A thumping sound coming from Dembes house alarms them and they break apart.

Red grabs his gun while he rolls out of bed and places his ear against the door before he looks around in the hall. "Clear!", he mouthes and points to the entrance.

The noises come in short intervals by now so she follows him through the dark hall. She's had a bad feeling about living here since they have arrived and know it seems that her worst thoughts become the reality.

She locks Hui in his room just in case something is going to go wrong and then they are trapped. The front door consists of steel and only opens with a code that neither Red, nor Lizzie knows. He tries to reach out to Dembe but his phone goes immediately to voicemail.

He is typing in a number with quivering fingers, a red light signaling that it is wrong. Then he tries another code and it works. It is quiet as they ascends the stairs and the sight they meet in the living area is nothing but gut wrenching. There is blood on the walls and destroyed furniture on the ground and no sign of Dembe and his family.

She has to steady herself by gripping his shoulder tightly. "Oh my god!", she gasps as realization hits her.

"Lizzie, call Harold! Tell him to come here with Samar and Aram. Tell him to get Charlene and his children to the safe house I provided."

She nods absently but follows his lead. He stands stoically in front of the blood smeared wall as if he is punishing himself for this but there's a blind rage in his eyes that even frightens her. She knows that his only goal from now on is to bring Dembe back.

And so they take in the chaos together, both determined to find the abductors.

* * *

 **Tbc...**

 **There will be a lot of Dembe in the following chapters and the conclusion who is behind it. I hope you don't mind that Dembe will play a bigger part for now. There's violence to come so be warned. As for Red and Liz; they will have to deal with the aftermath and still have a child with them so it ain't be easy for them either. I plan to finish the fic before Oct1 though.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Thank you for your reviews to the last chapter.**

 **This is m-rated for violence.**

 **Disclaimed: own nothing**

* * *

His vision is blurred as his eyelids slowly flutter open. He doesn't know where he is, nor how he got there but the pain in his head is crucial, a pile of blood summoning beneath his feet. Caning his head to the side, he sees the wavy ebony hair behind him and a sudden rush of relief runs through his veins.

But then he remembers.

They had come to take Raymond and Liz but they couldn't hack the security system. Now he is chained up in an old industry hall with his wife. His eyes and ears search for any signs of his son. Before he passed out, someone had taken him.

He rubs his wrists together, trying to loosen the stripes but there's no use. Isabella is bound behind him, so close that he can feel her body heat which is somewhat comforting in this horrible situation. His son, Enrico, is 13 months old and he's clingy. He closes his eyes and prays for the safety of his family, and for Raymond and Liz.

As he hears footsteps and violent screams approaching he keeps his eyes shut, feigning unconsciousness. His instincts served him well in the past and his bilingual studies had helped him more than once so why would this time be any different?

He can clearly make out two male voices who must be American and then there's another, he's pleading. Male, perhaps in his 40's but he speaks Chinese and repeatedly asks to bring him back to his son. Even through his blurry mind he connects the dots as the man continues to beg. The boy, Red and Liz have saved, must be his son which leads him to believe that three year old Hui is a pawn. The director located them because of the boy. Maybe via a tracking chip but he can't be sure.

He breathes in and out steadily, or at least he tries to as Isabella reaches consciousness and stiffens. Turning his hand into a near painful angle, he reaches for her wrists, wanting to sooth her with the light touch of his fingertips. He can't risk to draw their attention just yet. If they want to get to his friend and his partner, they would have to let him talk to Raymond at some point.

A sharp pain runs through his guts as the fist of his opponent connects with his body. Leaning forward, he coughs while trying to inhale as much oxygen as possible. It is unpleasant but nothing he couldn't bear. Groaning, he raises his head only a bit and is greeted with the cold hearted gaze of Tom Keen.

"Dembe!", he exclaims with a sigh. "I'm sorry to put you through this, man."

His eyes narrow into tiny slits. "Our son! Where is our son?"

"Safe for now. Well, you should behave and listen to what I and my superiors are saying if you and your lovely lady want to see dear Enrico ever again."

Fighting against his restraints, he bends forward. "Think thoroughly if this is the right thing, Tom! Do whatever you want with me but leave my wife and son out of it."

"I could but where is the fun in that?", he shrugs as if he doesn't give a damn and that is most likely true. "Your wifey used to work as a police officer in Buenos Aires. She saved your and Reddingtons ass one day. She's on our radar ever since." Tom cuts off the noose around Isabellas wrists and pulls her to her feet. His forearm hangs around her neck, the firearm in Tom's hand aiming at him. "Two choices sweethearts. You give me the code and we get Reddington and Liz out of the rabbit hole, or we are going to play a game by my rules and they are forced to watch as long as it takes until they come out freely."

He has always been a silent warrior, he has battle scars and he knows what suffering is but he must protect his wife at all costs. She seems to sense his inner battle and nods. "It's okay! Let them try!"

He looks up then and blinks one, two, three times. His boxer shorts are drenched with blood and so is his gray undershirt. They are both fighters, loyal to Raymond and rather would hell freeze than that they would turn their backs to the man who has made this relationship possible.

"Okay.", he finally agrees and turns to Tom. "Try to show a little dignity and start with me first."

Tom pushes the woman carelessly to the ground before he gets over to Dembe to free him. He punches him again, this time straight in his face. "You two are adorable! You've gotta watch while I beat the shit out of her. You're gonna hear every single scream and whimper, watch the blood dripping off her face. I let you suffer!"

He's heard his nose crack when Tom had landed his punch but the adrenalin rushing through his veins prevents him from physical pain but he himself puts all he cares for in danger and that will haunt him from now on. "We will prevail, Tom! And then you'll be the one who suffers including your employers."

"We'll see about that!"

Two other men pull him along to a steel rope hanging from the ceiling. He can taste and smell the blood that gathers in his nose as they fasten the rope around his arms, then he watches as they do the same to Isabella. And so they begin. First it had been punches to his face until he can barely open his left eye and he wished to become blind as they throw several whams to her body but she's handling the situation better than he's expected. She's so much more like Raymond when under stress. She extracts her leg but fails at hitting Tom's crotch.

"Oh, sweetheart...that was a mistake.", he hisses. "Sven! Come here, this girl needs a lesson. Put her in the box!"

He swallows as they drag her out of the room but, at least, she doesn't get beaten up anymore. As soon as his hands would be free again, he's going to put them around Tom's throat first. It's a promise he makes to himself in one of the darkest hours in his life. Raymond and Liz will find them. Taking a look to the red light of the camera in front of him, he calms his erratic breathing.

"I know you're angry, Tom but think of the consequences. You don't have a seat at their table, you don't have value. When you're not of any use anymore, they will kill you, too. So I advise you to run!", he tells him in a strained voice.

"Shut the hell up!" The next blows go straight to his kidneys, his last thought that he hopes Raymond or Liz will make a connection to what he's just said before he finally blacks out.

* * *

 **TBC...let me know what you think. :)**

 **Um, I hope you liked it. I know it's short but I'm visiting friends this week and I wanted to update before I leave.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey, sorry for the long wait but I've been busy during the weeks. I've made this one longer. Oh, and Major smut warning!**

 **Not beta'ed so all mistakes are mine. Sorry!**

 **I own nothing.**

* * *

Mr Kaplan rushes through, the in dripping red covered, room and takes several blood and DNA samples. Lizzie and he had been with Hui until his team arrived. He watches their every move since he cannot be sure where his enemies had known about his whereabouts. Grey had betrayed him in the past and the thought that this event was about to repeat itself terrified him. It makes him furious and he is ready to kill everyone in his way.

Lizzie is more collected than him, or so she appears at least. Her movements are calm but given her stare she is focused on the task at hand. Her profiling skills improves with each case and she's much more cautious. And there he is, not even able to think straight while his partner talks to Harold, Samar and Aram.

"Okay, I think we've got everything we need.", he hears Kate say and joins her instantly.

"What do you have?", he asks through clenched teeth, his head tilted to the side.

"Blood samples, fluids, cartridges. You can expect the test results in two days at the latest."

The veins on his forehead are clearly visible, his nostrils flaring angrily. "Two days is too late. I need them in a few hours."

Kate is barely intimidated by him and squeezes his arm in comfort. "If you want exact results, it will need two days!"

"I NEED THEM SOONER!"

The people turn around at his sudden outburst and he feels sorry for yelling at her. She's one of the people who earned his trust and he considers her a friend. Breathing out, he lets his head drop in defeat.

"It is going to be fine. Dembe and his family will be fine and alive.", she assures.

"You can't know that! A very few people know about this place, only people Dembe trusts the most and yet someone found out. Even more so, they knew we were here as well. I want to know who switched sites! Find the person, Kate!"

Her jaw slacks before she gives him a nod and turns on her heel. Lizzie eyes dance back and forth between Aram and him, a look that can only be described as utter devastation.

He rubs his sweaty palms along his dark dress pants as Lizzie comes over to him with a tablet in one hand. She's still wearing her sleepwear while he changed into his usual attire except for the tie and hat. His walls can't crumble around his team or around Kate, showing emotion symbolizes weakness but Lizzie, yes, Lizzie may be a criminal and has become more like him but she doesn't care what others think of her, she is vulnerable and strong at the same time. How much he admires her for that.

Her chest arches as she takes a deep breath and holds the tablet protectively in front of her stomach. She's standing next to him and offers him a first glance to the screen.

"We received a video. It shows Dembe, his wife and Tom." Her voice is nearly neutral but there's a small crack as she mentions her ex husband. "It's pretty bad, Red but Aram is searching for the location and a IP address."

His eyes are locked on the images and he fears not for he first time to lose his dinner that night. It is indeed horrible to see Dembe like this, all bloody and beaten up but he doesn't look away and absorbs every detail as a punishment for his failure. By the time the video finishes he is as pale as the dead, his fists clenched tightly as Lizzies warm hand encircles his, almost numb, wrist, pulling him downstairs where they are safe.

"I go and check on Hui. Go to bed, Red! We need some rest and, as for now, there's nothing we can do!" Her palm slides along his arm before he nods, patting down the hall to the bedroom. God, he feels 30 years older as he lies down on the bed. His bones crack when he turns onto his side, facing away from the door, his thoughts drifting off into the darkest corners in his mind. Dembe Dembe is more than just his friend and security, he feels responsible for him and his family and now Tom Keen dares to put his hands on him. First Lizzie and now Dembe. He should have killed him when he had the chance but he couldn't bear Lizzies rage towards him. She makes him so weak and small that it becomes embarrassing.

His eyelids closes when it all is too much. Dembe needs to be alive, everyone needs to stay alive except Tom and the rest of this dirty organization. Breathing in, the stress inside him decreases slightly but he isn't able to find sleep anytime soon. Feeling the mattress dip beside him, he regulates his breathing and clutches the blanket closer, hoping that Lizzie doesn't want to talk at the moment because he's not sure whether he can string a coherent sentence together.

"Hui is sleeping.", she tells him while her arm wounds around him, her hand coming to rest against his shirt covered chest. "Thank god, he didn't notice any of this." Her lips touches his shoulder gently, the sensation tickling his skin even through the fabric of his undershirt but this is nothing against the feeling of her fingernails that scratch downwards to his naval.

"Lizzie!" He tries to warn her but it sounds more like a growl as she continues to explore his body. He wants her, even now, but his brain and soul don't work in synch. Her hand slips beneath the waistband of his boxers where she traces his member with the pads of her fingertips, biting his lower lip, his cock twitches in anticipation but he can't.

Not now.

"Shh, you think too much. Just feel, Raymond!" He groans at the use of his name slipping off her lips. He can't think anyway since his blood left his head the minute she had touched him. She's only calling him that in the bedroom and the reminder makes him only harder in her hand.

"I want to know what you like most, what is making you feel good.", she whispers before putting her mouth on his neck, kissing, licking and biting along the skin there. As her mouth makes contact with his pulse point he is gasping for air already and surrenders to her ministrations. She is leaning halfway over him, the grip of her hand around him tightening as her delicate lips hover just above his ear.

" _Hmpf -_ Lizzie!", he moans into the quietness, rocking forward and finally she starts stroking him like he wishes in a slow but steady rhythm. "Feels. So. Good!"

He's still wearing his boxers and feels the need to get out of them so he hooks his thumb beneath the waistband and raises the lower part of his body, pushing the fabric down his thighs to his ankles. She quickens her pace, pumping him from root to tip and he momentarily forgets the trouble they are in. Shifting closer, her breasts pressing against his back he cranes his head to seek out her lips in a clumsy kiss, their tongues dancing wildly and he realizes that she needs a distraction as much as he does. His palm finds the back of her head, keeping her in place as he takes her tongue between his lips, not hard enough to drew blood but fiercely enough to feel her breathing loudly into his mouth.

"Take me from behind!", she hums against his lips, their noses touching. He'd rather watch her when he enters her, seeing how her eyes roll back when he stretches her, or how her breasts bounce when he's pounding her recklessly and, yet, he can't deny her anything. Breaking the kiss, he flips her onto her stomach, chuckling as she shrieks while doing so. His wandering hand applies pressure at the exact right spots before he disrobes her in a rush manner.

"Ass up!", he orders and slaps one cheek.

Lifting up and gripping the headboard for support, she groans, wriggling her hips towards him but there is no use. He grasps at her hips, slicking himself up between her folds, his eyes fluttering close once more as he notices her state of her arousal. It is still unfathomable how far they've come during the years; from strangers to partners, from partners to friends and eventually from friends to lovers.

"Red, now! Please, I want you inside of me!"

After leaving another two slaps on the other side of her perfectly curved butt, he enters her warmth in one smooth stroke, her inner walls closing around him like a vice, eliciting a deep growl from him. He discards his undershirt, throwing it into a corner of the room before he starts to pull out almost completely and slamming back into her core, hard.

"Fuck!", she gasps, her knuckles turning white as her hold onto the headboard tightens while he pounds her slowly but thoroughly nonetheless. Her forehead falls against her shoulder while she tries to muffle her moans and pleas by biting her upper arm but he wants, no, he has to hear her in order to multiply his own pleasure. He fists a handful of her hair and pulls her up against his chest. "Tell me how _this_ feels!", he demands, emphasizing each word by a thrust of his hips. "I can assure you, the walls are thick enough."

She's holding onto him for dear life, one hand around his neck while the other digs into his behind, moaning freely as she grinds against him over and over again. Setting a quicker and harder pace, his palms cup her breasts and then he feels the first wave of her orgasm begin, making his eyes roll back into their sockets. He doesn't want this to end, he doesn't want to to think of his friend or his enemies. No, he wants to enjoy this just a little longer but he's not in control there.

"Raymond! You're so - _God_ ", she pants and increases the speed, meeting his thrusts with her own and the squeaking sound of the mattress as well as their flesh slapping against each other makes him almost come, too. "Make me come!"

And he's doing just that as he pinches her taught nipple between two fingers, his mouth latching on her neck to resist the unbearable urge to follow suit. She's shaking from the aftermath, resting her head on his shoulder while her chest heaves with each inhale. Planting a soft kiss on her cheek, he starts to rock anew but is stopped by her hand on his waist.

Turning around, she lies on her abdomen while he's still on his knees, her full, pretty lips so very close to his throbbing cock. He watches her with adoration and he's about to losing it completely as she takes him in her mouth, sucking on the sensitive head before taking him deeper with just the slightest hint of teeth.

He can't believe that this is actually happening, that she wants it but she sights around him with her eyes closed and she appears so relaxed and that all the confirmation he needs. His hips thrust on their own accord and he just can't tear the eyes off his erection disappearing in her mouth. He comes with a high pitched squeal, a sound he's never made before but he is far from caring at the moment.

She holds her hand and he joins her under the covers, cradling her against his body. He hopes she feels as spent as he does as he drifts off to sleep. Finally, and hopefully without haunting nightmares.

* * *

He was up before her this time, cooking breakfast for Hui and Lizzie. His mind feels sorted out and his rational thinking is back in place although Dembes words to Tom won't leave him alone. Something is odd about the wording because it didn't sound like Dembe, he just can't figure it out.

Aram and Harold enter the apartment as he cleans the table while the little boy paints a picture. His eyes linger on a little packet that Harold carries under his arms. "Addressed to you. We haven't opened it."

"But I managed to get a location. The video was recorded in the C.S.I headquarters.", Aram interrupts.

Red nods in understanding, unwrapping the bag and draws in a breath. An human eye literally looks at him, not sure to whom it belongs though. Closing the casket, he no more but snarls, "You're a 100% sure about the location?"

"Um, yes! It wasn't easy to find out but they must be there."

"Then, we'll meet in an hour at the airstrip!"

 **TBC...Reviews are greatly appreciated. :)**


End file.
